Never Again, No More Read online

  “Nah. He ain’t none of my peoples.” He sighed. “I was just checking.”

  “Why?” I asked as I began folding jeans.

  “’Cause I want to get with his woman.”

  I nearly knocked over the stack of jeans I had folded. Pooch had always been blunt like that. He stood only an inch taller than me, so I tilted my head just a little and looked into his beautiful brown eyes to see if he was for real, and he was. With his brown skin and muscular build, he was cute, but he was no Terrence.

  “Quit playing, Pooch,” I said, brushing him off. I tried to ignore him and refolded a pair of jeans.

  “Word. Trinity, you know I want you. I’ve been pushing up on you ever since we played in the sandbox. On the real, I already know Terrence broke up with you before he went in. Damn shame that nigga didn’t know how to hustle well enough to keep you and your kids set. Hustlin’ just ain’t for everybody.”

  “So what are you saying, Pooch?” I asked, getting annoyed with the conversation.

  “I’m asking to be your man and to take care of you,” he confessed, grabbing my hand. “You too pretty to be busting your ass here and living off the system. Let me be your man and take care of you.”

  “I don’t know, Pooch.” I sighed. “I’ve just gotten myself together. I can’t deal with no more of that hustling, and you got one foot in the court and the other in the jail yourself.”

  He laughed. “Trin, I’d never be caught up.”

  Raising my brow at him, I asked, “How do you know?”

  Pooch leaned over and whispered in my ear, “I know because your man’s arresting officer is on my payroll, and his judge is an undercover junkie. And that’s just the shit I’m willing to tell you. Trust me, I’d never be caught.”

  I gasped and put my head down. I was not prepared to hear that Pooch was a certified kingpin. “Let me think about it, Pooch. We are a package deal, me and my two kids. You do remember that, don’t you?”

  Pooch shrugged. “Yeah, I remember, and I’m trying to make it better for all of you.”

  “A’ight, but I still need to think this thing through.”

  Pooch shrugged again. “A’ight, but Ms. Hobbs already gave you a late notice on your rent, and that old bitch doesn’t play.”

  “How do you know I am—”

  “Don’t nothing go on that I can’t find out about if I really wanted to, Trinity. Please believe that. It’s not like I’m trying to blackmail you or some shit. I’m offering you the chance to be Mrs. Kingpin. Many have wanted this title, but the chosen one is you. So you let me know,” he explained. Then he turned and walked away, leaving me speechless.

  I didn’t have feelings for Pooch, and although I thought he was cute, I wasn’t attracted to him. As I said, he wasn’t Terrence. Being late on my rent and being responsible for two kids, with Terrence locked up, I did what I had to do. I agreed and told Pooch that I’d be his lady.

  By the time Brittany turned one year old, we were living high on the hog with Pooch. We resided in a six-bedroom, six-and-a-half-bath home and rode around in matching Mercedes-Benzes. And I had fallen in love with him. The downside was that Pooch didn’t want me to work. He wanted me to sit around, look cute, and take care of the kids. Better yet, keep them out of his way. Pooch loved my kids, but he didn’t like them at all. Not that he had anything against them personally, but Pooch didn’t like dealing with kids in general. He took care of them and bought them things, but he didn’t spend time with them and was adamant that he wasn’t going to do so. He bought them toys so they wouldn’t fuck with him.

  So ask me why I fucked around and got pregnant a third time. Pooch was mad about the whole pregnancy and told me that I didn’t need to ruin my body by having more kids. We had a daughter, whom I named Princess. He kept referring to Princess as my baby, instead of his or our baby. He took care of the necessities for all of us, but in his mind, Princess was all mine, just as Terry and Brittany were.

  At least that was how it was until Terrence was released from prison. He began spending time with his children, taking them here and there, and one day he even took Princess along on their outing, and Pooch nearly flipped out. Ever since then, Terrence had been a constant issue in our house. Pooch continued to spaz out more and more, and I was tired of it.

  “Did you hear me?” Pooch yelled, spinning me around, interrupting my thoughts. He had joined me in the bedroom, but I hadn’t noticed him walk in.

  “Huh?”

  “Daydreaming about that nigga, huh?” he asked.

  I exhaled deeply. “No, Pooch. I daydream only about you.”

  He smiled. “You better,” he said, grabbing his crotch. “I put that shit down, and you know it.”

  I nodded. “Yep, you do.”

  “You ain’t taking no family photo with Terrence and y’all two kids. You are my woman, not his. His kids are his family, not you.”

  I didn’t feel like arguing, so I conceded. “Fine, Pooch. I’ll tell him.”

  “Now you sound like my girl,” he said, softening his tone. He pulled me close to him. “Princess is asleep and Terrence got his kids, so why don’t you bend that fat ass over and let me hit that shit right quick? I love the way having Princess blessed you with all that junk in the trunk.”

  That was the last thing I wanted. I was drained from his damn mood swings. “I don’t feel like it, Pooch.”

  “So you pissed that I won’t—” he began, defensive.

  “No!” I yelled, interrupting him. “I’m not. I’m just . . .” I sighed, easing my jeans off. “Hurry up.” I bent my ass over and used the bed as leverage.

  Pooch’s pants were on the floor faster than a speeding bullet. Before I could brace myself good, he was ramming his wood up in me.

  “This shit good, ain’t it?” Pooch asked breathlessly as he banged the hell out of my pussy.

  “Yep. Sure is, Pooch,” I lied. Not that he wasn’t good, but I wasn’t in the mood. “Get it, Pooch baby. It’s your stuff.”

  “You damn right! Remember that shit!” he screamed, burying himself deep inside and then releasing with a hard jolt. “Ah yeah, baby. Remember that shit.”

  Lucinda

  “Ay, Mama, I just need you to watch Nadia for an hour, maybe two, tops.” I had been pleading with my mom for the past ten minutes and was now frustrated.

  She’d told me no over the phone, but I had figured that showing up might earn me some sympathy points. But she was adamant that she did not have time to babysit. I knew she was lying, since she didn’t have to be at her second job until seven o’clock tonight, and it was only two. I wasn’t insensitive to the fact that my mom was tired. She worked two jobs and still cared for my six siblings single-handedly. Normally, I wouldn’t ask her at the last minute, but this was for my future, and I didn’t just want her help. I needed her help.

  My mom heaved a frustrated sigh as she set the table. “Ay, Dios mio! Lucinda! I’m trying to get the table ready for dinner. Lucy and Jose are not here to help, because of their extracurricular activities, and I really want to rest before I have to go into work tonight.”

  “Then let Anaya watch her. She can do it. She’s twelve.”

  “Anaya is not responsible enough, and you know it,” my mom said, giving me the eye. “I really would love to help you out, Lucinda, but I can’t.”

  “You act as if she’s a damn burden, Mama. She’s your grandchild, your only grandchild at that. She may as well be one of your kids. Peter is only two years older than her,” I snapped.

  My mom spun around, with her arms folded, a move she did when she was about to lay into someone. “You’re right, Lucinda. She is my grandchild, my only grandchild, as you put it. No one else broke my heart by getting knocked up in school. I had to struggle to help you take care of her for two years, until you were able to do it on your own. She is your child, not mine. So don’t bring that damn guilt trip over here. She has other grandparents and a father, or did you forget that?”

  I rolled m
y eyes. “Okay. I was wrong for that, but you’re my mother, and I need you.”

  She threw her hands up. “Where is her no-good father anyway? Why in the hell can’t he do it?”

  I looked at the kitchen doorway, to see Nadia looking at me. Her innocent face was so beautiful. “Mom, don’t,” I said, motioning toward Nadia.

  “Nadia, go sit down,” my mom commanded. Nadia gasped and hightailed it to the living room. “You need to teach that child that when grown-ups are talking, she waits in another room. I have a right to ask this question about her father. He is the party responsible for her, not me.”

  “He’s at work, Mom,” I lied. The truth was I didn’t know where the hell Raul was. The reason I was at my mom’s house was that Raul had been a no-show when it came time for him to pick up Nadia. That bastard was worse than the scum of the earth.

  She looked at me as if she didn’t believe me. “Yeah, okay. Well, if he’s at work, I hope he’s on time with his child-support payments, because I can’t help you pay the day-care bill this week.”

  I looked at the clock. It was 2:15 p.m. I really needed to get the hell out of there and to my appointment. “Mom, can you please do it?”

  Just then my mom’s phone rang. It was my father. I hated that bastard, since he had cheated on my mom and had left her with all these kids. He’d since married the bitch, who was only two years older than me, and I was twenty-one. Now, he had a baby by her and acted as if my siblings and I didn’t exist, but get this, he took care of that bitch’s four-year-old daughter, who wasn’t even his.

  “Mom,” I said, pressing her, as she was about to answer the call.

  Ignoring me, she continued her phone conversation. Irritation danced across her face. With a sigh of frustration, she held out the phone. “It’s your good-for-nothing father. Ask him to do it. He’s going to be late with my child support and alimony check, so I have no need to talk to him.”

  As desperate as I was for some assistance, I took that deal. I didn’t want to, but what other option did I have at this point? I grabbed the phone and said, “Dad, this is Lucinda.”

  “Hola, hija! Your mother is trippin’ . . .”

  Now, I knew he didn’t think I was going to let him sit on the phone and disrespect my mother. “Um, that’s between you two, but I need a favor,” I told him. “Can I drop Nadia off for a couple of hours?”

  He paused. “I . . . uh . . . well, I’m watching Rosemary right now.”

  Staring at the phone, I huffed. “Rosemary is four and Nadia is five, so they can play together. She needs to know her step-aunt anyway,” I said, and my mom burst into laughter.

  “I don’t have to take this abuse from you. You’re the one who needs help, Lucy. Not me. Ask her father to watch her,” he snapped.

  Why I even bothered, I did not know. He was laughable. “I don’t even have time to debate with you, Papa. You can’t even get your own children straight from digging up in Maria’s ass so much. Wrong kid, Pops. Lucy is only seventeen. It is impossible for her to have a five-year-old child.”

  “I’ll tell you what, take care of your own child, Lucinda,” he barked.

  “I tell you what, how about you have fun running after that little badass brat stepchild all by yourself, and when she gives you a heart attack, don’t look for any of us blood children to come take care of you at the hospital,” I barked back.

  He slammed the phone down in my ear, and I handed the phone in my hand back to my mom. Like her, I was feisty and didn’t give a damn about talking to him like that. I felt that since he was my father, he should care about my mom, his kids, and his grandchild. No pussy in the world should change that.

  My mom noticed the sad yet disgusted look on my face and hugged me. “Don’t worry about him. His deeds will come back to haunt him. We’ll be fine.”

  Hugging her back, I kissed her on the cheek. “You encourage me, Mama.”

  “I just want better for you, Lucinda. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

  “I know.”

  She patted my cheek, then went and grabbed an extra plate. “You better go to your appointment. You don’t want to be late.”

  A bright smile crossed my face. “So you’ll watch Nadia for me?”

  “Two hours, Lucinda, no more. I need to rest before work, and I won’t be able to with her here. You know, she is my first and only grandchild. I can’t let anyone else care for her.” She smiled.

  She didn’t need to tell me twice. I kissed her and Nadia, said my good-byes to everyone, then ran out. When I glanced at my watch, it read 2:25 p.m. I still had time to go talk to the admissions counselor at Piedmont Tech. My hope was to enroll at Tech to become a certified medical claims and billing specialist.

  Currently, I worked part-time during the day, from nine to one, as a claims verifier for National Cross HealthCare. I also worked part-time three nights a week and every Sunday afternoon at Susie Q Nail Salon, doing manicures, full nail sets, and fill-ins. I preferred to work on people’s hands. I wasn’t going to mess with anybody’s funky feet. Hell naw! The owners, Mr. and Mrs. Choi, were cool; and Mrs. Choi, or Mrs. Susie, as we called her, also served as the manager and head technician. I’d been friends with their daughter, Sue, who had taught me how to do manicures and pedicures, so they had let me work part-time at their shop while I was in high school. I’d been working there ever since.

  Initially, Mr. Choi hadn’t allowed me to bring Nadia to work with me, but one day her bum-ass daddy had played no-show, and he now allowed me to bring Nadia to work whenever I needed to. Now Mr. Choi loved Nadia, and he was upset when I didn’t bring her. Nadia was a good kid, and everyone who met her fell in love with her, except her father. I was just glad that in terms of her personality, she took after me and my mother, and not her father.

  The thought of Raul made me cringe. I must have been deaf, dumb, and blind to fool with him, but that was young love for you. Raul and I began dating during my ninth- and his tenth-grade year. It wasn’t love at first sight, since I was usually into broader-shaped guys, and Raul was on the slender side. Although he wasn’t muscular, I thought he had the cutest face, and he was a straight clown. Too bad his personality didn’t match his relationship and fatherhood skills, I thought as I reminisced about how we began dating.

  “Hola, mami!” Raul yelled at me across the yard.

  “Girl, crazy Raul is yelling at you again,” Trinity said to me.

  “I ain’t got time for Raul Garcia.” I fanned him off.

  “Oh, it’s like that, mami?” Raul laughed.

  Rolling my eyes, I spouted, “Leave me alone, Raul. You always playing.”

  “I got something you can play with,” he said, and then he and his boys began rolling with laughter.

  I looked at Trinity. “See what the fuck I mean? That hijo de puta gets on my nerves.”

  “Don’t pay Raul no mind. He just likes you,” Trinity explained for the millionth time.

  With that, I shot a bird at Raul and walked away. He’d been plaguing me for the past month, and I was starting to believe what Trinity had been telling me. I didn’t have to wait long to find out that she was right, because he made his move one day soon after, when I was walking home from school.

  “Hey, mami, a muy bonita young lady such as yourself shouldn’t be walking home alone,” Raul said, sneaking up on me.

  I jumped. “You scared the shit out of me!” I yelled, turning to hit him.

  He laughed. “That’s exactly why you shouldn’t be walking by yourself. Haven’t you ever seen the movie Halloween?”

  “Yeah, I have, and you know what? You kind of look like Michael Myers. You’re damn sure crazy like his ass.” We both laughed.

  “That was a good one.”

  “Why are you bothering me, Raul?” I asked bluntly.

  He looked at me as if I’d asked the dumbest question on Earth. “Why does any boy chase after a girl? Come on now.”

  “For ass,” I responded sarcastically. “Ass that you
ain’t getting,” I added.

  He shrugged his shoulders. “Damn. You cold, Lucinda, but your ass is fine.” He smiled and gave me the once-over.

  “Get away from me, Raul,” I told him, irritated, and began walking faster.

  Raul jogged up to me. “Okay, for real, I’m sorry. Listen, Lucinda, I like you. I really do,” he said as I came to a stop.

  “Yeah right.”

  “Seriously. No jokes,” he said, turning to face me.

  “You’re not my type.”

  “So who’s your type? Those playboys like your girls Charice and LaMeka run around with? They ain’t about shit.”

  “And you are about shit?” I asked.

  “Yes,” he said.

  I laughed when I saw that he realized that that analogy didn’t sound good.

  “Wait, no . . . Damn! You fucked me up with that,” he sputtered.

  I laughed. “You are kinda cute.”

  “Come on. Give the skinny dudes a chance. I want you to be my girl. On the real, I really like you, Lucinda. You’re smart and pretty. Just give me a chance,” he said sincerely.

  After little thought, I gave in. “All right, Raul. But don’t think I’m giving up the ass.”

  “I know I gotta work for it,” he joked.

  I giggled. “You crazy.”

  “Crazy about you,” he said, pulling me to him.

  There was something about the way he held me at that moment, like he was claiming me as his forever, that drew my lips toward his. With our lips softly pressed together, we shared our first kiss. It was the first time the expression “sealed with a kiss” made sense to me. At that moment, I knew I was meant to be with Raul . . . or so I thought.

  You would’ve thought that things between us would be straight, but it wasn’t like that shit was all roses. As if cheating on me wasn’t bad enough, he got a girl named Shanaya pregnant, and I was livid. After I finished slapping the shit out of him, I broke up with him and beat Shanaya’s ass for disrespecting me. Good thing no one reported it, or I would’ve gotten locked up for fighting a pregnant girl. Still, like a lovesick puppy, I took him back and ended up getting pregnant myself.